you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
