I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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