we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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