Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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