Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
