So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
