is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
