His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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