I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
