it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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