I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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