I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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