would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
