Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
