i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
