I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
