well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
