Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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