dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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