Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
