I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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