Whod you bang
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
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you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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