Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
