What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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