I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize