Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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