This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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