your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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