Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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