maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
