I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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