it was like having sex with a tree stump
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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