The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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