It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
