we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
