This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
worst night to have a conscience
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato