My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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