i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.