belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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