Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
