Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
