How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
