Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
