why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
