Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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