Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
