Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
