go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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