Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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