im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
