Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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