Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize