They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
