ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
