I'm drive I can fine osifer
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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