Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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(613): View more from Ontario

If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

(917): View more from New York City

Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(909): View more from California

Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(281): View more from Texas

My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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(707): View more from California

I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.

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