There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?