I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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