Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How's your threesome situation going?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell