you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
