You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
