Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
there is glitter all over my balls
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