your room smells of hookers.
And success
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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