when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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