last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He is an equal opportunity slut.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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