I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize