therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
