dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
