Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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